What to do when punishment, isn’t?

I thought this was a very well written relevant blog post. Enjoy.

On A Magic Carpet Ride

After the few last weeks, this week we are kicking off with a fresh new blog, or rather and more accurately, starting off with a new topic. While last week it looked liked initially that I was not able to get it once again all done, I ever surprised myself by actually writing a lot more then I think was possible and managed to get it all into one blog. Needless to say I was pretty happy about that.

So for the last week I have been racking my brain about what to write and while I had several topics lined up, neither actually grabbed my fancy. The problem I noticed that for some ideas (I do tend to be more strict with myself these days, about writing them down as soon as the idea hits me) while writing down what I wanted the topic to be about, I never…

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hope everyone’s valentine’s day was wonderful. Daddy and I had a nice breakfast and went to the gym. I had to go get my haircut done for the shoot on saturday. But after that we had a nice steak dinner with really good steak from costco and yummy wine. We are going out for my birthday on wednesday so we decided to stay in on valentines and away from the crowds.

Daddy spoiled me with chocolate, flowers, sandals and some pj’s from victoria’s secret. Yes I feel quite spoiled. I am a lucky lady.

I got Daddy and I a crop and a under the bed restraint system that we have been having a lot of fun with.

Lastly we ended the night with great sex, so it was a good day!

Hope yours was too.

 

Click Click (part 2)

So yesterday was the shoot in the bay area. I left at 7am and got there at 9 because check in was at 9:30. I will be leaving later next time because shooting doesn’t start until 10am. I was sitting around waiting to start shooting for awhile. At ten we started to shoot. Models rotate through the 5 stations for shooting and photographers are free to move around and shoot the different models. After a few hours the group breaks for lunch and the photographers hire models they liked for an hour or a half an hour and that is how the models get paid. I did not book any paid shoots this time, but there were only 4 photographers for 7 models.  Just were not enough to go around. Plus the photographers already have a working relationship with some of the girls and I was brand new and didn’t. I wasn’t surprised or offended, I still got paid, and invited back next saturday so I was pretty happy.

Models can make up to 400-500 a day if they do really well and get a lot of bookings. I need to work on my angles I was moving too much, turning too far, got to practice. Over all though I was happy with my performance, it being my first time doing a group shoot.

Click Click

So I used to model, it was just more of a hobby than anything else.

I had to stop, my ex hated me doing it, I got sick with the Grave’s disease, just over all felt crappy which makes for terrible photos.

Plus I wasn’t sure I could make it to where I wanted to go with it.

So yeah I quit.

But then my ex and I broke up…

I started working out with Daddy and feeling better about myself, and I met a girl who successfully modeled in the area.

So I asked Daddy if He cared if I could try modeling again.

Of course Daddy didn’t care,

so I have a big gig on Saturday.

The gig itself doesn’t pay, but there will be other photographers there who will pay me for a shoot.

Yay! No pressure! It’s only my first gig in over a year!

Wish me luck.

50 thing’s Women Should Know About Sex.

50 Things Every Woman Should Know About Sex, but Doesn’t reblogged from babygirlreborn

Yes, finally, as promised, but better late than never.

If you missed the list for men you can find it here.

In case you’re wondering why everything on these two lists isn’t specifically about sex, it’s because sex is not just a physical act, it’s also mental, emotional, and even spiritual. I write from a D/s perspective so for those involved in D/s you’ll see how relatable these items are to your relationship, but even for many men and women of different relationships, the build up to great sex starts with your mind and then continues with your words and actions. Let me know what you think.

Enjoy ~Elle xxoo

1. You should know that the quality of your sex life will affect your relationship and numerous other areas of your life 2. You should know how to love him unconditionally 3. You should know his inner, secret longing and desires 4. You should know his priorities in life 5. You should know how he evaluates you and your femininity 6. You should know how to make him feel like a man 7. You should know what makes him feel needed 8. You should know that he craves to own you 9. You should know that he desires to be served by you 10. You should know that he wants to be respected by you 11. You should know that he wants to be appreciated by you 12. You should know that he wants to be admired by you 13. You should know that he wants you to be proud of him 14. You should know that he wants praise from you 15. You should know that he want you to be as consistent as you expect him to be 16. You should know how to read his facial expressions and body language 17. You should know that he cannot read your mind 18. You should know that he wants you to understand when to speak and when to listen 19. You should know that he wants you to pay attention when he speaks 20. You should know that he does not want to be compared to other men 21. You should know that he wants to guard your heart, protect your emotions, defend your honor, and stand as a champion for your spiritual, mental, and physical well-being 22. You should know that the confidence you exude is a source of direct pride and inspiration for him 23. You should know that how you take care of yourself is also a source of direct pride and inspiration for him 24. You should know that there is nothing more beautiful, captivating, attractive, and sensual to him than when you glow with an inner grace 25. You should know that although he will do everything to make you happy, he wants you to find the happiness that comes from inside 26. You should know what relaxes him 27. You should know that he needs time and space to process and evaluate 28. You should know how to intensify his dominance 29. You should know how to obey his directives 30. You should know that he wants you to be honest with him 31. You should know that everyone is not having more or better sex than you 32. You should know he wants you to be proactive and learn what works to transition from your everyday life to your D/s life 33. You should know your clitoris is basically a tiny penis, but is mostly internal 34. You should know your vagina is like a snowflake; each one is different and unique 35. You should know that any shame, guilt, or fear you carry will keep you from enjoying pleasure 36. You should know that he really enjoys pleasing you 37. You should know that he loves it when you love your body 38. You should know how to talk dirty 39. You should know how to talk enticingly and seductively 40. You should know how to tease his body and draw out his excitement 41. You should know every erogenous zone on his body 42. You should know how to use your mouth and tongue to drive him wild with pleasure 43. You should know he doesn’t want you to hold anything back 44. You should know where your G-spot is 45. You should know how to heighten his sensations with small adjustments 46. You should know how to get an insatiable sex drive 47. You should know how to increase your sexual energy 48. You should know how to control your orgasms 49. You should know that he wants to watch you enjoy touching yourself 50. You should know that there is more than one sexual prime, which can peak at various stages depending on factors such as emotional health, physical health, and current state of family life

January 29, 2014

If You Are Truly Going To……

I thought this was a very well written article from fetlife?
https://fetlife.com/users/3170642/posts/2038890

If you are truly going to own and dominate a woman, you must understand her. Note | 138 Comments · 474 Love It | 1 day ago

If you are truly going to own and dominate a woman, you must understand her.

Everyone, of course, is unique, but I’ve seen some of the same things over and over..

•They are motivated by a deep desire to please. When you ask a “vanilla” woman what to do, she will sometimes reply “whatever you want”, which is simply annoying. However, you must understand that phrase for what it is from a submissive. She wants more than anything to please you. Whatever plans or ideas she had on her schedule, if she can make you happy she will be more fulfilled than doing whatever she wanted to do for herself. You must understand that phrase for what it is.

•Now, this can easily become abuse. Every submissive woman I have ever personally known has been through a number of abusive relationships. She gives and men take and take and it becomes abusive. Weak men with self-esteem issues are often drawn to these women, which compounds the problem. It takes enormous strength and experience to take from a woman like this (which is what she needs) without abusing her. Your job is to soak up all her love and affection and attention, help her find ways to please you, while supporting and strengthening her as a person. This takes wisdom, experience, and, I believe, some age. I cannot imagine a 20 year old guy being a successful “dom” in any real sense of the word.

•When you find her, she will likely have things in her past she is not proud of, and you may not be either. That doesn’t matter. You must accept her exactly as she is, with all of her flaws, imperfections and mistakes and you must never hold them against her. If you are worthy of the task, she will be transformed by her relationship with you… practically an alchemical transformation… lead into gold was only a metaphor for transformation you know? It was always about transforming the common and the broken into the sublime. If you can’t accept her, you can’t have her.

•She needs to understand and to come to trust that you are not like the people who have hurt her in her past. She has developed complex coping and self-protective mechanisms. If you would possess her, you must strip them away and this takes time, love and persistence. If you do not do that, then your relationship will be a sham because you don’t have her, you have the face she has prepared to protect herself from the outside world.

•She will naturally subjugate her desires to yours. In my opinion, you have a sacred responsibility to build her up and to strengthen her as a person. Again, you better have the wisdom and experience to do this… if not, find your way together, but be honest with her that you cannot give her what she needs.

•A continuation of the above point: not every submissive is a masochist… often they are, but not always. New and wanna-be Doms need to be told this because if she sees you want to beat her even if she doesn’t want it, she won’t say no. In my opinion, if you find a woman you really care about, you need to do a lot of work understanding what makes her tick, and that does take work. For instance, I literally could not answer the question “what do you want?” when when I started considering this lifestyle. Could not answer it. You do not realize how difficult that question can be for a natural submissive, but you need to teach her how to think about it and answer it sometimes.

•Above all… above all other things… be honest with her. In a relationship like this, trust is the one thing that cannot be repaired. If you damage it, you’re done. You also need to be aware that most of these women (in my experience) have an uncanny sixth sense. They are actually or very nearly psychic and will read all of your communications on every level. Don’t lie to them. It’s not worth it and once they catch you in a single lie, you now go into the same pile of “men who hurt her” and you will never truly be trusted again.

•There is no depression or sorrow that can compare to what happens when you hurt or disappoint one of these women. Make sure you understand the responsibility you are assuming when you begin a relationship. On the other hand, they are capable of loving on a level that you probably cannot even begin to comprehend.

•Again let me say this clearly: you have tremendous, profound and sacred responsibility for and to this woman. Don’t fuck around with this lightly.

•This post is not about sex. Done properly, neither is your relationship with her.

One last point… if you are ever fortunate enough to meet a natural submissive who is at a point in her life where she can give herself to you, and if you have within yourself what it takes to master her… well… there is no force in the universe like what you are about to experience. Be forewarned because you cannot possibly be prepared.

“There is no force in the universe like what you are about to experience… 🙂

Hurts so Good.

I love it when Daddy is rough. 

Yesterday we were watching tv and I was so horny. 

i was siting there thinking about how much I wanted it and for it to hurt and then suddenly Daddy was pushing my head down to you know where…

Well we did it once hard

and then I was laying there recovering and Daddy said He wanted to go again. 

So of course we did. 😉

i love that I can take everything Daddy has to give. 

He’s told me most girls can only take it from Him for 8-10 minutes. 

I love it when Daddy uses me. 

He gives me so much I love to give back.

 

How to take proper care of your Dom

Taken from fetlife. Not my article.

 

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom
Journal Entry | 428 Comments · 2,869 Love It | 5 months ago

Recently I had a new friend ask me, in a frustrated moment, “How do you take care of a Dom?!?” I took a moment an asked him what was wrong. He filled me in that he was in the loving throes of a brand new D/s dynamic…his first of it’s kind. We talked for a long while and I gave him my knee jerk reaction. I’ve been captivated by the topic ever since. I wanted to create a guideline for myself on how to take care of a Dominant. I consider those I submit to to be extraordinary. These are singular men. I want to make sure that they know that I know that I’ve found something rare and precious in him.

I was struck by the question. I realized right then and there that this was an excellent query, worth more than a moment’s consideration. There are many posts on taking proper care of your sub, aftercare, taking feelings into account during play…and I realized there were far fewer on how we, as submissives, should care for our Dominants. Let’s consider who we’re talking about. Whether we’re talking about Male or Female Dominants we are talking about people. Full-fledged every day folk who have bad days, good days, up and down days, and every other kind of day that you have as a submissive…person.

Dominants are expected to be strong. We hope they’re strong enough to guide us/ care for us on our journey…such trust there is in a D/s relationship! In power exchange slowly I _get to_ hand over the power I have over myself and my decisions to him. Why? Because he’s worth it. Because I trust him enough to give everything I have/am to him. I watch him, please him, love him…what pressure our loving Masters must be under!! I realized that having someone watch me lead by example and hand their body to me for safekeeping…would eventually feel like pressure. The pressure to never fail, never have a bad moment, and often we hold them to superhuman standards. Most days they succeed in being our Supermen. Most days we get to adore them and give ourselves over completely to their (our) most delicious secrets/ desire/ needs…but what about the bad days?

What about the day Daddy comes home from work after getting laid off? Maybe just a writeup or a speeding ticket? Something human…just a bad day. On that day how do we care for them? How do we show them that we care about their feelings too? The first is to remember they are human and have feelings and that BDSM is work. We choose to live in an intense world full of intense dynamics.

Why? it’s worth it.

For the Dominant side…they make the decisions. Decisions are hard work. Remember when I said “get to” give away decisions…some days i don’t want to decide squat. They put work into scene ideas, often they buy/make/carry all the toys and use you. They also have a vested interest in who you are and your personal well being. It seems like caring for a very rare, very fun, very high maintenance pet. Sometimes they need a breather. I can completely understand why. Has anyone ever owned a large cat? They take hours of care a day. They eat more than you can imagine. They can eat you. I still think they’re a lot less maintenance than a full time submissive. We need to, as submissives, be aware of how much work goes into BDSM – emotionally and physically – for both sides. We’re not the only ones baring our souls here.

I realized it’s so simple and elegant…and Dominants are often easier than vanilla guys to care for. Why? Because most of the time they’ll tell you what they want. Simplicity…for the sake of the post I’m speaking of male Dominants. What are they? Men. People. Take care of them in special ways specific to your dynamic…and then do something else. Take into consideration that these men may just want to cuddle and lie on the couch. Do his laundry for him or make a special meal. Cut him some slack to be human. Be there for him…that’s what we get to do to thank them for what they do for us. Act like a particularly subbie girlfriend…remember when we fawned over and woo’ed our men?

Be open and honest in your communication. If you don’t tell him what you need he will not know intrinsically. You must be willing to be brave and emotionally vulnerable to truly care for your Dominant and to honestly expect him to take care of you. If you are available in every way then you will learn what he needs even on the days when he doesn’t feel so Domly. Sometimes a gentle hug or a sweet kiss…no lusty overtones…just a kiss to say “I empathize…I’m sorry you’re having a bad day…I’m here for you if you need me for anything.”

Allow him to talk to you…and be interested. We get the lion’s share of the attention in this dynamic. When he’s emotionally drained or just kinda mentally beat up then we should help to recharge him. If he needs to talk allow him the space to vent. Even if it’s about you. Sometimes it’s as simple as giving him time to play his video games or something fun and mundane like getting out of town with friends. We live in an intense world full of intense interactions and intense protocol…and once in awhile everyone needs a break.

If he’s tired/drained/done with this day…don’t pressure him to play. How would you feel if your cat died and he came home and anally raped you because he happened to have had a bad day too? I would feel bad about it…on top of which my freaking cat died…worse day. I hate feeling pressured…constricted…micromanaged. If I hate it odds are good he does too.

Don’t nag or pressure. Don’t act out for attention because you want it when he doesn’t have the emotional energy to give it to you. Give him a break. let the man eat a cheeseburger and watch a ballgame without having to put on his superhero cape. If you’re good to him and help his heart heal maybe he’ll put his cape back on tomorrow. Today, love this human being who is such a rare and precious find.

Live in your moment. Remember that you never get this time back. You get the future. Enjoy it. Enjoy him. Enjoy every bit of intimacy you explore. Remember that if he has a bad day and you treat him with respect, empathy, kindness…he’s likely to do the same for you when you let your best friend cut your hair and you end up with a mullet. Bad days happen for us all. If we’re really lucky we have someone’s support to help us through. This is universal and applies to both sides of the slash.

Recognize he’s human.
Recognize that BDSM is intense and it is work.
Be empathetic, kind, and available.
Remember that you’re _getting to_ give your decisions away…just like your submission is a gift – as is his Dominance.

Live in this moment and recognize it’s a fleeting thing. This moment never comes around again. How you behave will shape your future. Remember that every action has an opposite reaction. Ripples in a pond.

An update: wow… just wow. This writing hit over 2000 ” loves” today and I’m just so flattered. Thank you all for your kind comments and insights. You make me want to write more often.

Svana

 

The under f**ked pussy epidemic

taken from fetlife not my post. 

The Under F**ked Pussy Epidemic (Every Woman Needs To Read This!!)
Note | 62 Comments · 270 Love It | about 16 hours ago

“A good orgasm is satisfying, but a great orgasm can be a revelation of your deepest being, unfolding the truth of who you are in ecstatic communion with your lover.” — David Deida

Recently I was speaking with a young woman about her orgasms and her state of emotion. She shared with me how she had been diagnosed with depression and ADHD, how Peri-Menopausal Symptoms (PMS) was terrible for her and how she felt that she needed a man in her life to protect, save and hold her. She had been abandoned by the men in her past and had gained an ill understanding of her own heart and soul. Disconnected from her pussy and from her true self she exhibited self-hatred and shame, she felt embarrassed and lacked confidence, yet tried to hide all of this under a bubbly, loud personality with a beaming smile and flashy sex drive. Practically throwing herself at men, begging for their attention so she could survive one more day and pretend that for that moment she had love in her life.

The Importance Of Gourmet Orgasms

As I sat there listening to her story, watching the emotions cross over her face I could feel her pain, I found myself wanting to just embrace her and tell her that everything would be okay, but that was the protective mama bear in me.

Instead I chose to be honest and share the facts, “Sounds like you need to be properly f-ked my dear,” is what I responded.

She looked at me and said, “What?”

I restated it, “It sounds like you need to be properly f-ked, I don’t mean go have sex, just some junk food sex, I mean you need some gourmet, yummie, fulfilling f-king. You need an orgasm that fills your whole body.”

She looked at me a bit taken back and then responded with,”Oh I just had sex, I had an orgasm, a good one. It was very good.”

“But was it fulfilling and gourmet?”

“Yes, yes I think it was. Maybe it was not exactly as gourmet as you are speaking of, but it was awesome.”

“Did it fill your whole body with rapture? Were you tingly and full of energy for days to come or did you grow tired and the orgasmic feeling passed through you within a few hours?”

A confused look came upon her face.

Orgasm Is Mandatory For A Woman To Live an Abundant, Happy & Healthy Life

Here is the problem: this world is suffering from the majority of women not having real orgasms, shit most women don’t even have orgasms at all, they fake them, they hide out in their minds and they grow bitter toward life. Those who do have an orgasm normally rely on a clitorial quick fix or tighten their bodies up so much during an orgasm that it is short lived and never fills their whole being; body, heart and soul. They lack the orgasmic rapture that they need. Orgasm is mandatory for a woman to live an abundant, happy, healthy, full life. And not just any old orgasm will do this. The deeper, more penetrating an orgasm, the more life and creative energy, love and surrender a woman will bring to the world. To you.

When her emotions become muted and she is closed, lacking expression toward life she is close to running on empty in her orgasmic bank account.
When she is overly hateful or stuck in depression, full of what seems to be crazy hormonal ups and downs she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account.
When she lays down and has sex but is indifferent to what happens in the bedroom or cannot share her desires, her boundaries and her fears she is lacking in her orgasmic bank account and this is where the trouble resides.

The Darkness of Pussy Frustration

Worse yet, she won’t tell you the truth about what is going on because she herself does not understand. Even if she has a clue her voice will be seized by the darkness of her pussy frustration and her ego will have hold of her so strongly that she won’t be capable of vocalizing the unspeakable to you. That unspeakable being that she needs to be f-ked wide open by a man that can penetrate not only her flesh but her heart and soul. She needs his strength, his firmness, his masculine energy to be unleashed in her at a cellular level and TAKE her beyond the point of no return and right into the heavens of rapture. Only at this level can she trust her man and allow herself once again to be seen.

As Nicole Daedone, author of Slow Sex states,

“Running on empty is not what you want your woman to be, unless you like irritability, impatience, hypersensitivity, and for everything to be your fault. Because in the space between what she asks for and what she really wants, resentment will begin to fester. And you, sir, will be the one she blames.

Find out what she is hungry for, and give it to her. Never accept her first answer. Ask again. And again. Make it a part of your game plan to prod and push until she releases what she is withholding and her desire comes flying out. At first, her desire might sound like anger. She may need to blow off steam. Don’t take it personally, even if she says hurtful things.

“Keep asking until you feel her true desire release. You will feel it in your body when she finally lets go. Regardless of how much resistance she has, don’t stop asking until you feel it. You are helping her unravel a lifetime of conditioning – old beliefs and habits and rules that are suffocating the bright, lovely, sexy woman within.

“That’s the woman you want to be with. So if you have to ask all night, ask all night. You’ll know it when she finally speaks her desire because you will be able to feel it, landing with a satisfying *thunk in your body.

“Then give it to her, and you’ll be giving her the thing she never thought she could get: not just the desire, but approval for having the desire at all. ”

Women: Ask For What You Sexually Want & Need

What Nicole is stating here is the powerful truth and it is hard to understand for many men because men have the ability to state what they need or want clearly most of the time. Men have also been raised differently then women and do not have the same shame placed upon them for wanting or needing sex. It is expected that a man craves, thinks about and will ask for sex. It is common thought in many marriages and in society that it is the woman’s place “to make sure to keep her man happy, else he will surely stray and find it somewhere else” but for a woman to be open about her cravings labels her a whore or slut. Even if we are not aware of this low grade consciousness and believe ourselves to be above this sort of thinking, the consciousness and programs still exist for all of us. They lay there in the covers of darkness within our psyche and if we are women they make themselves known pretty quickly as soon as we face our undernourished needs.

Men: Ask Your Women What She Desires

So gentlemen or those in the masculine role of the relationship, never stop asking your woman what she desires. Never stop inquiring about her deep hungers. Dig in her cavern and find the treasures she has hidden there, tell her frequently that you love her, that she is your babe, your special lady, your love. Touch her often and playfully and set aside time to REALLY be with her. This is not meaning a movie and dinner or even snuggle time on the couch, this means eye to eye, deep focused communication time. Communicate your love with words, looks and touch and ALWAYS keep asking. She will open to you.

Kendal Williams

I found this article online today and thought it was worth sharing. Hope you all find it useful or at least a good read!

~VL