What is a Daddy Dom?
(Excerpted from the complete article written by WizarDavid.)
Just what is a Daddy Dom? Well, to start with, a Daddy Dom is first and foremost a Dom. He chooses the subcategory of “Daddy” within the lifestyle of dominance and submission (D/s). Let’s get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. A Daddy Dom does not promote incest or pedophilia as the kink may be misunderstood by ignorant people. Rather, in this specific subcategory, the dynamic is set up for the male dominant to be called “Daddy,” and the female submissive (sub) to be called “girl,” “little girl,” or “babygirl,” etc. Rarely is she called “daughter,” as this evokes too many parallels to incest, which Daddies and their girls detest. And while some doms and some subs may have been victims of family violence, incest, or other abuse, Daddy Doms and their girls are not over-represented in these categories any more than the general population.
The following are some of the fundamental characteristics, and indeed needs, that all Daddy dominants seem to share universally:
1. Her Number One Fan, the Daddy usually believes in his girl more than she herself does, and often uses the wisdom of his age to see her not only for who she is, but also for who she can become. A Daddy’s eyes light up when his girl enters the room. He is proud of her and praises her for not just for what she accomplishes, but for what she attempts, and for who she is. He accepts her for who she is, flaws and all.
2. And he knows all her flaws because he is also her ultimate Confidant, allowing her to bare her soul to him beyond all others. She may have many different relationships and types of friends in her life. But Daddy will be her “umbrella confidant.” The one with whom she can talk about absolutely anything and trust that what she tells Daddy stays with Daddy. He is the one from whom she withholds nothing. …
3. He is the Protector of his girl against real or perceived threats, dangers, and bad people. Sometimes a little girl just needs to curl up in Daddy’s arms and smile at some of his bluster, and sometimes the Daddy may have to act on his protective instincts. Pity the person who messes with a Daddy’s girl.
4. Her Teacher and mentor shows her new things that come from a longer and possibly wider set of life experiences. Daddy likes to take his girl to places she has never been, feed her foods she has never eaten, and do activities she has never enjoyed before. He is never so happy as when he can look in her eyes and know he has given her something she has never had before. This also translates into sexual adventurism for some Daddy/girl couples. He symbolically deflowers her on a regular basis, whether that be sexual or just in exposure to new life adventures.
5. He wants to be her Guide and advisor. As the girl makes her way in the world, Daddy wants to be there to answer her questions, calm her fears, make her insecurities go away, and give her sound advice based on his years of experience.
6. Anchor. The Daddy dom is an unyielding, unmovable anchor in the storm. No matter what happens in the girl’s life, she knows her Daddy will be right there where he has always been, and she can hold onto that even if she is blinded by her own tears. Daddies know the storm will pass, and she will be safe, but she needs something to hold onto that will not move.
7. Disciplinarian. When the girl acts badly, she expects to be disciplined or punished for the infraction. Most Daddy dominants find it occasionally difficult to keep this up, especially as the affection for their girl grows. They would love nothing more than to spoil their girls, but they realize this is the path to ruin. One a girl begins to believe she can manipulate Daddy, she no longer sees him as her dominant, unyielding anchor. A girl needs the stability and protection of a man who is more dominant than she is. To demonstrate that characteristic, Daddies must sometimes be excessively strict and rigid, more so than they would in normal relationships. The act of disciplining the girl may be used as part of a sadomasochistic activity.
In addition to these practically mandatory characteristics, some couples add their own sadism and masochism to the mix, and may use the concept of the wolf or lion and little lamb to describe the way in which the Daddy simultaneously protects his little girl from the world, and yet wants to dominate and devour her sexually. As a sadist, he may create the very tears that he will later kiss away. Sounds sweet, and yet terrifying, if you are not accustomed to the world of sadomasochism in which these participants operate. But to a Daddy and his girl who are into BDSM, this is the most perfect of scenarios they can imagine to act out their fetish.
A Daddy usually knows he is one. He doesn’t have to be convinced of it, or taught how to be a Daddy. He may only need to have his innate Daddy characteristics pointed out to him. It might happen in the throes of a sexual activity when she exclaims “Daddy” for the first time, and the light goes on. Similarly, the little girl usually knows she needs a Daddy without having to be taught how to be his little girl. Once they identify themselves as Daddy/Little Girl, the draw is more powerful than many other forms of attraction, because it is rooted in deep-seated and old emotions that may not have any other outlet.
While some of these characteristics could easily be applied to any good male-female relationship, there are some that require something quite different than the “50/50 partnership” that is so often touted as the most healthy. This is not 50/50. This is a Dominant/submissive relationship, and all the characteristics should be viewed through the lens of D/s.
And while many of the characteristics could also be easily applied to any good D/s or Master/slave relationship, there are some characteristics that are decided different. Not all Masters consider themselves their slave’s number one fan or her umbrella confidant. Teacher, guide, and anchor are not necessarily roles that a Master is required to adopt.
What is a Babygirl??
This question is a tricky one to answer in all honesty. i could just say that you either know or you don’t but that doesn’t help you if you are here, reading this article and trying to figure out where you fit into the BDSM lifestyle community puzzle. A while back i wrote a piece for not to growed up’s sister blog, Submissive By Choice, on how to know whether you are submissive or not. Actually that one was a little more cut and dry than this but i will give it a shot and do my best to give you some advice based on my own opinions.
Littles are NOT age players
A touch of little coming through
Full on little mode, pigtails, pout and all
Age player baby – not a true little
A little is not someone who wants to dress up and ‘act’ like a child or an infant as is the case with age players. The line between age players and littles can be a very fine and/or blurred one and at first glance most people confuse the 2. Littles don’t ‘act’ a part, they live it.
So what is a little then?
Littles are people with the unique ability to either regress or to retain a child-like personality/nature. Their inner littles are a part of who they are and not an act. Personally, for me, it isn’t a case of regressing like I have read about from some other littles around the internet. my inner little is a permanent part of my personality, always there. i can suppress my little urges and desires when i need to but doing that makes me a very unhappy and nasty, short-tempered bitch to be around. Some littles may experience regression, some not. Just because you don’t regress doesn’t mean that you aren’t a little and likewise, just because you don’t like or do the same things that other littles do doesn’t mean that you aren’t a little.
Beautiful, innocent, vulnerable but still a woman
Characteristics of a little
This is a very difficult list to put together because each little is different and while there may be things here that don’t apply to you as a little, there may be some that aren’t here that do. So, these are my own personal ideas of little characteristics:
Not to be confused with childish and bratty, being childlike means that you see the world differently. Maybe you are more innocent and naive than others your own age, maybe you enjoy things that are considered ‘child’s play’ and not suitable for a grownup. You may be able to identify with children better than with grownups at times. Whatever being childlike means to you, this is a key characteristic of a little.
i have yet to come across a little on the internet who doesn’t love plushies. That’s not to say that you have to love every single plushie out there but a love for fuzzy, cuddly plushies in general. Personally i LOVE plushies, having a moderate collection in our bedroom and sleeping with 1 every night. i also take a travel size Eeyore plush with me whenever we sleep out somewhere.
Girls do it…
…and even the boys do it!
Cartoons and/or Animation:
Watching cartoons is often relegated solely to children, with grownups preferring dramas, reality shows, series and whatever else. Most littles love to watch their fair share of cartoons and animated movies, me being one of them. i am not too fond of the crappy cartoon animation that so many children’s shows are made of these days and i don’t really like Power Puff Girls. Some of my favourite cartoons are Ed, Edd, Eddy, Spongebob, Dexter’s Lab, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Loony Toons, Tintin, Mindy and Buttons from Animaniacs.
While i like cartoons, my real love is anime – my mom calls them cartoons which makes me so mad! LOL
What would life be without cartoons?
Littles may (or may not) have a hard time dealing with the adult world from a grownup perspective. Responsibility, sticking to a strict schedule on their own without supervision (lack of self discipline) and many other aspects of living as a grownup can get us down. For me, without _PapaG_ by my side, His caring, physical and emotional protection and His help in dealing with the world, i become depressed and a very nasty piece of work, i lash out and i’m just not a very nice person at all. Simply put, i am just not cut out to be a grownup in every aspect of my life and my being. Nobody but _PapaG_ seems to understand this about me. He is the only one who seems to understand that in order to be my best self and truly flourish and enjoy life, i need to be able to freely indulge in my little urges and desires and i need him to hold my hand sometimes when the grownup world becomes too much to handle on my own.
This is not to say that i am completely incapable of being a grownup where and when it counts, my grownup and little self are integrated into 1 personality. I work, do chores and housework, look after my pets and do lots of other things expected of grownups but i am also very forgetful, absent minded, easily distracted, have trouble concentrating on 1 thing for long and would simply much rather shirk my responsibilities and watch anime.
Emotionally, i would think that littles deal with and experience emotions a little differently to other grownups. i am easy to cheer up if i am upset or angry but i also get upset or angry very quickly. i get very excited over little things and so excited over the big things that it can make me not feel well. It is like my emotions are not as reined in and controlled as some other adults out there and i also seem to be a lot more sensitive to situations and stimuli such as teasing, surprises, arguments/conflict etc than i see in other adults.
Having a different way of thinking and not being emotionally ‘up to par’ with the rest of the adult world doesn’t mean that being a little means that you have a mental and/or emotional handicap. It just means that you thing and experience things differently, in a more childlike way.
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